>
> >
> > Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the
> > pearly gates.
> >
> > "In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said,"You must each possess
> > something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."
> > The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He
> > flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.
> >
> > "You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.
> >
> > The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.
> > He shook them and said, "They're bells."
> >
> > Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".
> >
> > The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and
> > finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
> >
> > St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just
> > what do those symbolize?"
> >
> > The man replied, "These are Carols."
> >
> > And So The Christmas Season Begins..............
> >
> >
> >
> >May we all remember to keep a smile on our face as well as in our hearts. Merry Christmas to all! TS
> >
>

Hi Gang back at my old site so all the hard work done by my good friends Lucy and Hailey. Guess that one post at the other site will go on as the only one for nevtex! LOL TS

DAD AT THE MALL

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We
decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a
teenager sitting next to him.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the
matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?'

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke
on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he
did not bat an eye in his response, 'Got drunk once and had sex with a
peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.'

English
Chinese

That's not right
Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive?
Hu Yu Hai Ding

See me ASAP
Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man
Dum Fuk

Small Horse
Tai Ni Po Ni

Did you go to the beach?
Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped into a coffee table
Ai Bang Mai Fu Kin Ni

I think you need a face lift
Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here
Wai So Dim

I thought you were on a diet
Wai Yu Mun Ching

This is a tow away zone
No Pah King

Our meeting is scheduled for next week
Wai Yu Kum Nao

Staying out of sight
Lei Ying Lo

He's cleaning his automobile
Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive
Yu Stin Ki Pu

Great
Fa Kin Su Pa


Now if anyone is offended I apologise yet laughing at oneself shows that a person is comfortable and has a sense of humor.

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So God called one of the angels and sent the angel to Earth.

When she returned, she told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not."

God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion."

So God called another angel and sent him to earth for a time, too. When the angel returned, he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true. The earth
is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good."

God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% who were being good, because he wanted to encourage them...give them a little something
to help them keep going.

Do you know what the e-mail said?

Okay, just wondering; I didn't get one either.