Today as I go through my contacts a new name is in the water, "hotboy567@blogstream.com" I sent this individual a stern warning about contacting the young girls on this site. Yes his vocabulary is that of myspace.com and I am asking all to visit and let him know of our values. Thank you for doing what's good for the water.

This may not achieve national attention and I only again want others to go Hmmmmmmm.
I am the last one in my family line to have a child and she will not carry on my name. In fact a reason I can't find her is she may have married.
Now I had not even thought of this untill a few years ago I caught myself thinking. (shame on me) It was that I realized the largest of my failures would be that my family name will cease at mine and my brothers death.
There will be no news report of our name and I wanted so much to make that happen. I don't want us to be remembered for the lowly jobs we did. I wanted to make a differance in how lives were to be. Not just ours but all lives.
Who was in charge to allow this to happen? You can say that I was yet have you ever seen a fixed race. Unless I was of perfect intelligence and behavior would I be allowed my dream. Perfection is a dream asked of those you don't want to advance, when you fail the blame always falls on you. Yes I have fought the good fight and at the end I will not be remembered for my attempt at perfection. I will be an example of the power of the majority. Our countries resources are controlled mostly by the White Upper class. Yet if you can't break into this group then you are lowered beneath all others. The White Trash so to speak. Yes this is the outlook of a bitter man, only who does it sound like. If you are on the bottom and raise yourself than great, if the bottom falls out it's tough luck. I have fought against oppresion only as I come to my end I find myself oppressed.
GO FIGURE TS

Yes I remember a young boy who follows his sheriff father along the shore of a water way. How can this young boy now be the director of a religious scandal. As Mel Gibson did Ron Howard put his vision on screen. His telling will raise the hackels of many and soon will be forgotten. Anybody remember the "Passion of Christ"? It was done in the language of the time and now just a distant memory. As I will not pay 20 bucks to go out and see this my hope is it gets shown on HBO, CINEMAX or SHOWTIME before Christmas. I don't want a piece of art to distract from what is a more important event. May we all view it with the mindset of making one think not changing of their faith. TS

I was in the middle of finishing my post when all of a sudden my finger hit something and it was gone, like painting a picture and the easle falls over the cliff while painting the next "Mona Lisa"! Well maybe the next "Peanuts" but you I'm sure have all done this faux paux. Now I will attempt to create the mood and setting of my creation. I have just returned from a pleasant lunch and have todays mail in hand.
Here the drama begins, in my hand is a letter from FSA (federal student aid) office. In March I was told "over the phone" that I had given the last of my requirements to qualify for a condional discarge of my student loan. I would not have to provide anything further as I had met the qualifications. Now this took a load of because my student loan of 5 thou is now in the 50 thou area. They don't tell me what it is for fear I may stroke out and being repaid by hitting the lottery is gone.
Again this is saturday and I have no way to contact them so it will weigh somewhere deep untill monday.
The box checked says " You (I) have not provided employment earnings to ED. No date of information requested just have not provided it! Now in an area above it has Date of Disability 01/01/93 If this is what is stated on their paperwork has someone provided a picture to them of me earning money?
Now my deposit states that I recieve $666.01 per month. Now we all understand the what is said in the BIBLE about these sixes. I wonder how many other are recieving this amount? If I had any earnings would not my payments be just a tad higher? Now I hope that my cynical outlook is better understood by all.
Now I have a remedy for this situation and do not think this is only for me. If all were to put a one dollar bill in an envelope and mail it to U.S.Department of Conditional Total and Permanent Disability Assignments PO Box 7200 Uttica, N.Y. 13504 Find someone in your town that can use this assistance. One dollar a month can provide peace to an individual that has none. Return me please from proud to PROUD American. TS To all Mothers and especially those of service personell May Tommorow be blessed as you have blessed us.

I am watching a movie "Days of Thunder" and at one point Nicole Kidmans character makes a point about the illusion of "CONTROL". we can only continue in life as long as we have control. Yet exactly what is control? The mind game played by husbands and wifes over the destiny of the family. How about the game of success? When is enough enough? I wish my life had taken better care of me, I tried to take care of it.
Follow the path less taken was my choice. I did not want society to dictate how I was to live. I was going to grab life by the jewels and become what others have always told me of. "HEY WHAT ABOUT HIM/HER THEY MADE IT". Yet the harder I drove the further behind I got. As I look at it now that was just how it was and I was not going to CONTROL anything. The thing is, as a country we were going through changes and my being who I was did not fit. This was not a thought out thing it was just how it was.
Now many years later I know of the how's much better only not of the why's. I have my thoughts only I will never know of the truths. TS