Want to post something only my finger is tired and I'm just going to say "go to my old site and read my first post, then go to Kelela site and read my comments and finally finish up at my site here and read my comments on previous post. Now if you can follow all that "you deserve a break today" got it. abp

Yes not having faith is a waste of time. If you have no faith in mankind whats the use? Have you ever stepped back and looked at the footprints you have left on society. Wished you had done this instead of that? My own arrogance is as hurtfull on others as theirs is to me. Why is it that I can see mine when others don't acknowledge theirs. I'm not going to point fingers only remind that I'm a creation of societies doing. If when you are asked why you behaved in that manner you answer that's what they are all doing. I visited the chat room and was shocked at the behavior and when I asked a young adult why he allows it he responded that this is acceptable behavior. Now this is why I must have faith, in every generation the choice is made to shock and set there own generation in movement. I have been witness to many changes in our youth and must have faith that they will outgrow the mood. If there is arrogance it's the young and the lack of respect given to their elders. Yes I'm full of hot air the differance is mine is mellowed with age. abp

Yes I use to dream of all the potential there was to be happy. I was a good looking, intelligent and caring person and there was no reason for me not to succeed. God that line kept me going for 25 years and the final results were I wasted my time. I was not taught how to battle the mean spirited people of the world and the kind and helpfull balanced enough to just give hope. No I am not going away and just being here gives me pleasure. Everyday I go on is a reminder that I am worthy. I no longer need others to validate my anger, I am angry but proud and thats what has angered people. How can I continue to hold my head high? He has done nothing we have made sure of that. So why do I go on? TO PISS YOU ALL OFF God you who pass thru and leave no message. What? Afraid I may piss you off? You in society have pissed me off for nearly 54 years and now that I am venting you can't answer. If I'm to be ignored then fine I'm use to it. abp

yea Now I can afford a life, no more sittin around waitin for anyone to pay attention. Now I can afford to find the child that is on the birth certificate with my name as father. All I have ever wanted I can now purchase except respect. All the hard work I did made no matter society says "NO" you don't fit and therefore I must be miserable. No you have a choice angry but proud American, you can either accept what we give you or go away. No that is not going to work any longer because now I flaunt my wealth in your faces as you flaunted your health and choices in mine. This is going to make a great story, handicapped individual gets rich and now tells everyone to flake off if you can read between the lines. All of the HOLIER THAN THOU individals who laugh at others misfortunes as a work of God. If only you were a believer as I am bull. The neighbors that thumb their noses at you because you don't fit in their circle. Now ask yourselves is all that you have a gift from God or Satan. When you look in the mirror do you see who you really are or a figment of your imagination. How can this much money make anyone happy? If I'm not happy now how will millions change me. I've got it buy an island and get away from all the ills of society. If you have gotten this far and are just now realizing the title was false then just out side my door is the Pacific and the sand is a white as pearls. abp

Yes I wrote mean words that were ment to awaken a troubled soul. You can ignore my words and continue to live in your tropical paradise. The BIBLE says not to be jealous of what others have and I am not jealous. I have much respect for what others write whether it is good or bad. But as a human I reserve my right to comment. The "if you can't say something nice" mode of writting then why read and only comment when you can say something nice. The reason for my words is simple, it seems to me that you are in a position of power and all we seem to be getting back is garbage. Isn't America great, blame others for their failures when in order to get where you are you had to go over someone else. No one said life was fair or equal and the footprints on my back are many. There are to many times to count when my anger was great and I handled it. The problem with society is unless you do something horrendous the way you are treated continues. Then when you snap they all say "HE or SHE was such a quiet person, they could not have done that. A week later it's back page news and the get ahead at any cost continues. If I awakened a spirit that was dormant then maybe there is hope. If all I did was anger than my apologies. abp