I was in the middle of finishing my post when all of a sudden my finger hit something and it was gone, like painting a picture and the easle falls over the cliff while painting the next "Mona Lisa"! Well maybe the next "Peanuts" but you I'm sure have all done this faux paux. Now I will attempt to create the mood and setting of my creation. I have just returned from a pleasant lunch and have todays mail in hand.
Here the drama begins, in my hand is a letter from FSA (federal student aid) office. In March I was told "over the phone" that I had given the last of my requirements to qualify for a condional discarge of my student loan. I would not have to provide anything further as I had met the qualifications. Now this took a load of because my student loan of 5 thou is now in the 50 thou area. They don't tell me what it is for fear I may stroke out and being repaid by hitting the lottery is gone.
Again this is saturday and I have no way to contact them so it will weigh somewhere deep untill monday.
The box checked says " You (I) have not provided employment earnings to ED. No date of information requested just have not provided it! Now in an area above it has Date of Disability 01/01/93 If this is what is stated on their paperwork has someone provided a picture to them of me earning money?
Now my deposit states that I recieve $666.01 per month. Now we all understand the what is said in the BIBLE about these sixes. I wonder how many other are recieving this amount? If I had any earnings would not my payments be just a tad higher? Now I hope that my cynical outlook is better understood by all.
Now I have a remedy for this situation and do not think this is only for me. If all were to put a one dollar bill in an envelope and mail it to U.S.Department of Conditional Total and Permanent Disability Assignments PO Box 7200 Uttica, N.Y. 13504 Find someone in your town that can use this assistance. One dollar a month can provide peace to an individual that has none. Return me please from proud to PROUD American. TS To all Mothers and especially those of service personell May Tommorow be blessed as you have blessed us.

I am watching a movie "Days of Thunder" and at one point Nicole Kidmans character makes a point about the illusion of "CONTROL". we can only continue in life as long as we have control. Yet exactly what is control? The mind game played by husbands and wifes over the destiny of the family. How about the game of success? When is enough enough? I wish my life had taken better care of me, I tried to take care of it.
Follow the path less taken was my choice. I did not want society to dictate how I was to live. I was going to grab life by the jewels and become what others have always told me of. "HEY WHAT ABOUT HIM/HER THEY MADE IT". Yet the harder I drove the further behind I got. As I look at it now that was just how it was and I was not going to CONTROL anything. The thing is, as a country we were going through changes and my being who I was did not fit. This was not a thought out thing it was just how it was.
Now many years later I know of the how's much better only not of the why's. I have my thoughts only I will never know of the truths. TS

I posted a blog hoping to raise a few eye brows. I guess by ignoring my post you must believe in every word I have written. If so what a sorry state you all are. I don't believe all that I wrote I just like a spirited debate. Yet all I get is one comment? I've seen more comments on the weather reports. I at one time signed up for the chat section of blogstream, yet as I viewed what was going on I was disgusted. The language was vile and not up to the standards I know parents have raised their children in. Yet here it was in all its glory. Language not only foul enough to make a seaman blush (at one time I was one), it was young ladies who were the most foul. I guess you were all to busy getting caught up on the final shows of the season. TS

Yes after I finish with this blog you will all come looking for me or you just might go HMMMMMMMM.
It's early here as I await my monthly pay and watching the news again a report on how angry the families of the mine disaster are. They did not work hard or fast or have the right gear.
Today is my payday and I will get under $700.00 to live on. I worked for 30 years in an America that promises equality and fairness. Yet as we have all been told "LIFE IS NOT FAIR"! Over 15 years ago I had a stroke. It took over a year to qualify for disability and my first payment was under $500.00. Now just think of this as I finish.
I have sympathy for anyone who loses someone to a horrible accident. Now how much of this screaming is to posture for a LAW SUIT. In a country that has men underground I'm sure the insurance is tremendous. These families are going to be well compensated just as our soldiers are. Did they not think it was dangerous? Was I born yesterday? I wish I would have been more to look forward to.
Yes as I walked out the door so many years ago was there a chance that on top of my clubbed feet and epilepsy that I would also have a stroke. How about your men? Thats part of being a MINER.
In my way of thinking your complaints about the air tanks are valid yet how long it takes to plan a rescue are not. Again my sympathies and prayers for the families, may they find peace and meaning in their loss. I'm still looking for my peace. TS

This morning I watched a news report of a young teen who played in her first PRO golf match. Her mother who has terminal cancer was glad that she was able to see her daughter fullfill a dream. A very heartwarming story only where's DAD? Yes I know the story was about the two ladies only it takes two to have a child. Did he feel just a little ignored. He more than likely got his little girl into the game yet just that easily he is not even mentioned. JUST A THOUGHT Reminds me of a song by Simon and Garfunkle, "WHERE HAVE All THE FLOWERS GONE?", replace fathers in the flowers and you will see. and yes I know there are alot of assholes who don't deserve to be parents of both sexes. So before you get all bent out of shape I only ask as a father who has not seen his child for 19 years. TS